I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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