the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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