Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
