i think my tv is drunk
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
