Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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