why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
