my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I need to stop coming to work sober
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize