you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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