lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
If I die, sorry about rent.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
