every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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