you mean i was at the winter classic?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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