Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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