If i come over, it means nothing
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
