all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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