is wine microwaveable?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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