No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
