Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
