I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
