similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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