he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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