I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Still dying that you shit outside
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
