Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i believe in u and ur pee
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
