Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She bit a glass in half.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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