So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
