Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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