he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My dick has a subreddit
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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