first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
