OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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