is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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