I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
