So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
