i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
