dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize