well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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