My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
