I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
