I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
i now understand why vodka
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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