At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
