forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
