The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
