Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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