Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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