"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
