...so i touched it.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
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