Sry I called you an 8
Do vagina's smell?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
