Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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