You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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