New invention idea: vibrating tampons
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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