Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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