He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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