as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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