That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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