You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
