A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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