Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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