i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
