Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
