What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
