I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He passed out mid-signature
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
