That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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