Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
