i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize